This is what we call disorganized attachment, and it comes from the exact pattern I described: A caregiver or parent who is both the source of comfort and the source of fear. A young child has no category to process this. So you learned to both reach out for love and belonging and also brace for the storm and pain that came after. And this is exactly why, as an adult: •you panic when someone pulls away •but also feel anxious when they get close •you crave affection •but you fear what comes after
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